


It's The Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester (4.07)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [68]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 66 seals, Aliases, Demonology, Drugs, Episode: s04e07 It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester, Hex Bags, Impala, Possession, Samulet, Witches, Zombies, demon smoke, gank, ghost - Freeform, mausoleom, silver - Freeform, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:13:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam n' Dean hook up Castiel n' his wild lil' fellow angel Uriel, whoz ass warn tha brothers ta stay tha fuck away from intervenin up in a hood where a witch be attemptin ta summon tha demon Samhain, openin one of tha Seals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

SUBTITLE: Two Days Before Halloween

 

_EXT. WALLACE HOUSE-DAY_

  
A kid is puttin a skull up in front of a headstone on tha lawn up in tha front yard, decoratin fo' Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A biatch strutts up wit a funky-ass big-ass candy bucket up in her left hand, n' a pumpkin n' grocery bag up in tha other n' shit. Da biatch strutts up tha stairs, onto tha porch n' tha fuck into tha house.

 

_INT. WALLACE KITCHEN-DAY_

  
A baby is bein fed some orange baby chicken by a man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da biatch strutts up in n' sets tha pumpkin on tha counta along wit tha grocery bag.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Ooh-

  
**LUKE  
** How tha fuck was tha store, biatch?

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Oh, madness. Everyone up in hood was stockin up. ( Biatch reaches over ta tha baby up in tha chair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. ) Yea muthafucka, dopeie.

  
Bitch strutts over ta a cold-ass lil cupboard above tha counta n' opens it ta put tha pail of candy away.

  
**LUKE  
** Did, uh, you git enough, biatch?

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Oh, hey, I had ta arm wrestle Norma Bleaker fo' these n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

  
**LUKE  
** Honey, she’s 74.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** And a shitload stronger than she looks. ( LUKE reaches fo' tha candy ta take a piece, her big-ass booty swats his hand away. ) Ah-ah-ah, remember last year, biatch? We ran up at 6:30.

  
**LUKE  
** It’s just one piece.

  
Dude goes ta reach fo' a piece again, n' her big-ass booty swats his hand away again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Ah-ah-ah-ah, you can have as much as you want afta Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck needz a funky-ass bath, biatch? Huh, biatch? Huh, biatch? ( Biatch lifts tha baby outta tha high chair.) Oh, there we go! ( Biatch looks at LUKE ) Yo ass coming, biatch?

  
**LUKE  
** I’ll uh, I’ll be up in a minute.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Okay.

  
Afta she leaves LUKE turns n' opens tha cupboard n' gets a piece of candy.

  
**LUKE  
** Oh-

  
Dude pulls up his wild lil' fingers n' there is blood on dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. Dude reaches back in, beatboxin up in pain as he pulls a thugged-out double sided razor free n' takes it outta his crazy-ass grill, blood comin outta tha cut as da ruffneck do. When he looks at it, da perved-out muthafucka starts ta gag, n' grabs tha countertop as he leans over n' starts spittin blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dude spits up another razor blade n' continues ta spit blood n' kneel over n' shit. LUKE spits another razor blade n' falls down onto tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Luke, what’s takin you so long, biatch?

  
Bitch strutts back up in holdin tha baby n' sees his ass on tha floor, blood startin ta pool round his open grill, n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes starin blankly.

  
**MRS. WALLACE  
** Oh, mah Dogg. Oh, mah Dogg hommie!

  
Bitch screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is.


	2. ACT ONE

_INT. WALLACE KITCHEN- DAY_

**SAM  
** Now how tha fuck nuff razor blades did they find, biatch?

 **SUBTITLE  
** One Dizzle Before Halloween

MRS. WALLACE sighs, n' respondz nearly up in tears.

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Two on tha floor, one up in his stomach n' one was stuck up in his cold-ass throat yo. Dude swallowed four of dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. How tha fuck is dat even possible, biatch?

Bitch notices DEAN lookin round tha front of tha stove n' up in tha oven door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Da candy was never up in tha oven. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Us playas just gotta be thorough, Mrs. Wallace.

 **SAM  
** Did tha five-o find any razors up in tha rest of tha candy, biatch?

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Fuck dat shit, I mean, I don’t be thinkin so.

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** I just-I can’t believe dat shit. Yo ass hear urban legendz bout dis shiznit yo, but it straight-up happens, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Mo' than you might imagine.

DEAN emerges from tha floor, n' shows SAM a hex bag, behind MRS. WALLACE’s back so dat thugged-out biiiatch can’t see, n' make shizzle ta keep her from seein dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs n' looks at MRS. WALLACE.

 **SAM  
** Mrs. Wallace, did Luke have any enemies, biatch?

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Enemies, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Every Muthafucka whoz ass might have held a grudge against him, biatch?

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** What do you mean, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Co-workers, biatch? Neighbors, biatch? Maybe a biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

MRS. WALLACE gets what tha fuck SAM means n' gets offended. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Is you suggestin a affair, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Is it possible, biatch?

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** No! Fuck dat shit, Luke would nev-

 **SAM  
** I’m straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit. Us playas just gotta consider all possibilities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** If one of mah thugs wanted ta bust a cap up in mah homeboy, don’t you be thinkin they’d find a funky-ass betta way than a razor up in a piece of candy he might eat, biatch?

SAM looks over at DEAN, whoz ass raises his wild lil' fuckin eyes at SAM.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM-DAY_

SAM is chillin on a cold-ass lil couch, wit his fuckin laptop n' all dem books on tha fruity-ass malt liquor table up in front of him, flippin tha pagez of tha books yo. Dude picks up suttin' from tha hex bag dat looks organic, n' holdz it up. DEAN entas tha room n' tosses his keys on tha table under tha window, n' unwraps a piece of candy before tossin it up in his crazy-ass grill. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.

SAM sees his ass do all dis bullshit.

 **SAM  
** Really, biatch? Afta dat muthafucka choked down all dem razor blades, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** It’s Halloween, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, fo' our asses every last muthafuckin dizzle is Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DEAN sits down on tha arm of tha couch n' looks at SAM’s research.

 **DEAN  
** Don’t be a thugged-out dballa n' shiznit fo' realz. Anythang interesting, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Well, we’re on a witch hunt, that’s fo' shizzle yo, but dis isn’t yo' typical hex bag.

SAM indicates tha hex bag dat is open now on tha table. There be a silver piece, tha size of a cold-ass lil coin, n' suttin' lil' small-ass n' charred up in addizzle ta tha organic thang (looks like a thugged-out dried up flower).

 **DEAN  
** Hmm, no, biatch?

SAM picks up tha dried up flower lookin piece.

 **SAM  
** Goldthread, a herb that’s been extinct fo' two hundred muthafuckin years fo' realz. And dis-( Dude picks up tha silver piece ) is Celtic, n' I don’t mean some freshly smoked up age knock-off. Well shiiiit, it be lookin like tha real deal, like 600 muthafuckin years oldschool real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

DEAN has picked up tha lil' small-ass charred thang n' smells dat shit.

 **SAM  
** And um… dat is tha charred metacarpal bone of a newborn baby.

 **DEAN  
** Ugh.

Dude puts tha bone down, n' looks disgusted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 **DEAN  
** Gross.

SAM picks up tha bone.

 **SAM  
** Relax dude, it’s like, at least a hundred muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Oh, right, like dat make it better, biatch? Witches, dude, they’re so friggin’ skeevy.

DEAN moves over ta tha chair next ta tha couch n' sits down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, well it takes a pimpin' bangin one ta put a funky-ass bag like dis together n' shit. Mo' juice than we’ve eva dealt with, that’s fo' sure. What bout yo slick ass, biatch? Find anythang on tha victim, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** This Luke Wallace, biatch? Dude was so vanilla dat he made vanilla seem spicy.

SAM scoffs at they lack of leads.

 **DEAN  
** I can’t find any reason why some muthafucka would want dis muthafucka dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

_INT. BASEMENT-NIGHT_

There be a jam goin on of high school aged kids. Two hoes (the one dressed up in a nurse tracksuit is JENNY n' tha one dressed up in a cold-ass lil cheerleader tracksuit is TRACY) strutt all up in tha party, n' a muthafucka dressed up in full costume strutts between them, bumpin tha fuck into dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **GUY  
** Hey.

 **JENNY  
** This jam blows. We should just go TP some muthafucka.

TRACY looks at her yo, but turns round n' sees one of mah thugs n' strutts over n' shit.

 **TRACY  
** Uh, hey Justin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **JUSTIN  
** Yo.

 **TRACY  
** Yo ass break tha fuck into tha booze yet, biatch?

 **JUSTIN  
** Uh, it’s triple locked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So, you muthafuckas goin ta dat mausoleum jam tomorrow night, biatch?

 **JENNY  
** Is you gonna be there, biatch?

 **JUSTIN  
** It’s gonna be rad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I’m gonna git so baked hommie!

Dude laughs n' JENNY, tryin ta be flirty, laughs along wit his muthafuckin ass.

 **JENNY  
** Well, it’s gotta be betta than dis G-rated assfest.

 **TRACY  
** Oh, come on, it’s not dat bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ( Biatch turns n' notices a tub wit wata n' applez up in it ) Oh, check it out.

 **JUSTIN  
** Okay, bobbin fo' applez is lame.

 **TRACY  
** Oh, come on, it’s Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **JUSTIN  
** Mmm… lame.

TRACY gives his ass a look, n' turns back around, kneelin down up in front of tha tub, n' holdz her afro as da hoe bobs fo' a apple n' gets one on tha straight-up original gangsta try, her short cheerleader skirt comin up in tha process. TRACY turns round up in victory, n' takes a lil' bit outta tha apple.

 **JUSTIN  
** I stand erected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 **JENNY  
** Well, I wanna try.

TRACY goes back n' standz next ta JUSTIN. JENNY goes ta tha tub, kneels down, n' tries yo, but can’t git a apple. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tries again, n' misses. Da third time dat dunkadelic hoe tries, her grill gets stuck under tha gin n juice n' shit.

 **JUSTIN  
** Fuck dat shit, dat thugged-out biiiatch can straight-up hold her breath.

TRACY laughs at his ass yo, but JENNY still don’t come up, n' starts ta struggle, her heels scrapin across tha floor tryin ta git some leverage. TRACY n' JUSTIN finally realize suttin' is wrong, n' TRACY goes over ta tha tub n' kneels beside JENNY.

 **TRACY  
** Jenny, biatch?

JENNY continues ta struggle ta no avail, n' TRACY turns round ta JUSTIN.

 **TRACY  
** Help me biaaatch!

JUSTIN goes ta help TRACY.

 **TRACY  
** Jenny, what’s wrong, biatch?

TRACY n' JUSTIN continue ta pull JENNY yo, but can't git her head above tha gin n juice n' shit.

 **TRACY  
** Help!

JUSTIN tries ta pry JENNYz hand off tha side of tha tub yo, but can’t git it loose either n' shit.

 **JUSTIN  
** Come on, let go.

Da wata up in tha tub starts ta bubble n' steam rises off tha surface.

 **JUSTIN  
** What tha fuck iz happening, biatch?

 **TRACY  
** Jenny, come on!

JENNY screams under tha wata n' her grill turns red as her big-ass booty struggles.

 **TRACY  
** Help! Jizzy dawwwwg! Jizzy dawwwwg!

JENNY stops struggling.

 **TRACY  
** Jenny.

JUSTIN pulls JENNY up outta tha water, n' her grill is boiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **JUSTIN  
** Oh, oh mah Dogg.

TRACY holdz her grill n' stares at JENNY.

_INT. BASEMENT-NIGHT_

SAM n' DEAN come down tha stairs ta tha scene of tha crime, where JENNY was capped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There be a muthafucka wit a ‘Forensic’ jacket on takin picturez of tha bobbin fo' applez tub, n' a five-o fool poppin' off ta TRACY.

 **POLICE OFFICER  
** Has you done been drinking, biatch?

 **TRACY  
** Yes yes y'all.

SAM goes ta join tha dissin n' DEAN puts his hand up stoppin his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** I gots dis one.

DEAN licks his fuckin lips, n' SAM sighs.

 **SAM  
** Two lyrics: jail bait.

 **DEAN  
** I would never-

SAM just rolls his wild lil' fuckin eyes at DEAN n' strutts over ta tha couch n' starts liftin tha cushions, lookin fo' a hex bag. DEAN smirks behind SAM’s back.

 **TRACY  
** It’s just so weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da wata up in tha tub-it wasn’t hot, I had just been up in there mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo crazy-ass playa didn’t happen ta know a playa named Luke Wallace, biatch?

TRACY turns ta DEAN, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka holdz up a funky-ass badge.

 **DEAN  
** Agent Seger, F.B.I.

 **TRACY  
** Um, who’s Luke Wallace, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Dude took a dirt nap yesterday. It make me wanna hollar playa!

 **TRACY  
** I don’t know whoz ass dat is.

SAM holdz up a hex bag dat dat schmoooove muthafucka has found up in tha couch cushions. DEAN nodz at his ass n' looks down at TRACY.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM-NIGHT_

DEAN is on tha computa all up in tha table. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is lyin on tha bed lookin all up in books. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sits up, lookin intently at a funky-ass book he is reading.

 **DEAN  
** I’m spittin some lyrics ta you, both these vics is squeaky clean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch There is no reason fo' a wicked biiiatch payback.

 **SAM  
** Maybe cause it’s not bout dis shit.

DEAN looks at his ass questioningly.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, insightful naaahhmean, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Maybe dis witch isn’t hustlin tha grudge, maybe they’re hustlin a spell. Peep dis out.

SAM readz from tha book.

 **SAM  
** Three blood sacrifices over three days, tha last before midnight on tha final dizzle of tha final harvest Celtic Calendar, tha final dizzle of tha final harvest is October 31st.

SAM handz DEAN tha book.

 **DEAN  
** Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Exactly.

 **DEAN  
** What exactly is the, uh, blood sacrifices for, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Uh, if I’m right, dis witch is summonin a thugged-out demon, n' not just any demon-Samhain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Am I supposed ta be impressed, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Dean, Samhain is tha damn origin of Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Celts believe dat October 31st was tha one night of tha year when tha veil was tha thinnest between tha livin n' tha dead, n' dat shiznit was Samhain’s night. I mean, masks was put on ta hide from him, dopes left on stoops ta appease him, faces carved tha fuck into pumpkins ta worshizzle his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude was exorcised centuries ago.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so even though Samhain took a trip downstairs, tha tradizzle stuck.

 **SAM  
** Exactly, only now instead of demons n' blood orgies Halloween be all bout kids, candy n' costumes.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, so some witch wants ta raise Samhain n' take back tha night, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Dean, dis is straight-up n shit.

 **DEAN  
** I be straight-up n shit.

 **SAM  
** We’re poppin' off heavyweight witchcraft. This ritual can only be performed every last muthafuckin six hundred years.

 **DEAN  
** And tha six hundred year marker rolls around…, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Tomorrow night.

 **DEAN  
** Naturally.

DEAN looks down all up in tha book dat schmoooove muthafucka has flipped ta a page showin a thugged-out demon on a heap of bodies holdin a head up in his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Well it shizzle be a shitload of dirtnap n' destruction fo' one demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** That’s cuz he likes company. Once he raised, Samhain can do some raisin of his own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Raisin what, exactly, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Dark, evil crap n' fuckin shitloadz of it, I mean, they follow his ass round like tha friggin' Pied Piper n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so we poppin' off pimps.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Zombies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

 **SAM  
** Mm-hmm.

 **DEAN  
** Leprechauns, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Dean-

 **DEAN  
** Those lil dudes is freaky. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Lil Small-Ass hands.

 **SAM  
** Look, it just starts wit pimps n' ghouls, dis sucker keeps on going, by nightz end we is poppin' off every last muthafuckin wack thang our crazy asses have eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Everythang we fight, all up in one place.

 **DEAN  
** It’s gonna be a slaughterhouse.


	3. ACT TWO

_EXT. WALLACE HOUSE-DAY_

DEAN is chillin up in tha Impala outside of tha doggy den watchin n' smokin candy yo. His cell beeper starts ta ring, n' he pulls it out, flippin it open n' lookin all up in tha calla ID before he lyrics.

 **DEAN  
** Hey.

SAM is up in tha motel room, n' has called DEAN. Da shots switch between SAM up in tha MOTEL n' DEAN up in tha Impala.

 **SAM  
** How’s it going, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Awesome, yeah, I talked wit Mrs. Razor Blade again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I’ve been chillin up in front of her doggy den fo' minutes n' I’ve gots a funky-ass big-ass steamy pile of nothing.

 **SAM  
** Look Dean, one of mah thugs planted dem hex bags, one of mah thugs wit access ta both houses. There’s gotta be some connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well I hope we find ‘em soon cause I’m startin ta cramp like a-

DEAN stops suddenly as da perved-out muthafucka sees something.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.

Across tha street, TRACY is struttin up ta tha WALLACE house.

 **SAM (V.O.)  
** Quit whining.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, Sam, I mean, lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.

DEAN watches as TRACY strutts up ta tha door, knocks, n' MRS. WALLACE opens it wit tha baby up in her arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is.

 **TRACY  
** Hey.

 **MRS. WALLACE  
** Yo!

 **TRACY  
** ( speaks ta tha baby ) Hi!

_INT. MOTEL ROOM-DAY_

DEAN throws tha motel room key, wit a ‘MOONLIGHT MOTEL 126’ keychain on it, onto tha table. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is lyin on tha bed wit his fuckin laptop open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Yo, so, our apple-bobbin cheerleader, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Tracy, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Mm-hmm, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Da Wallaces' babysitter n' shit. Told mah crazy ass she never even heard of Luke Wallace.

 **SAM  
** Huh, bangin-ass look fo' a cold-ass lil centuries-old witch.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, if you was a six-hundred-year-old hag n' you could pick any costume ta come back in, wouldn't you go fo' a funky-ass bangin' cheerleader, biatch? I would, hmm…

DEAN sits down on tha other bed n' gets lost up in thought bout that, n' SAM looks at his ass furrowin his brow. DEAN notices n' raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows at Sam innocently.

 **SAM  
** Well, Tracy’s not as wholesome as she looks. Did some digging-apparently she gots tha fuck into a violent altercation wit one of her mackdaddys, gots suspended from school.

SAM handz DEAN tha laptop, n' we peep what tha fuck is on tha screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Next ta a picture of TRACY is these notes:

 _NOTE:_ Student was suspended fo' a violent act on a mackdaddy n' shit.  
STUDENT NAME Tracy Davis  
ADDRESS 27 Lirewenshizzle Lane  
PARENT NAME Jerome Walker Davis  
PARENT NAME Mary Jane Kanoli Davis  
STUDENT EMAIL tracydavis@kadsf.std2  
PARENT EMAIL jwdavis@qerqwe.com  
GRADE 11  
HOME ROOM Mista Muthafuckin Goldwyn  
COUNCELLOR Mrs. Parks  
EMERGENCY CONTACT Mary Davis 555-0892

_EXT yo. HIGH SCHOOL-DAY_

We peep tha front entrizzle of tha high school.

_INT yo. HIGH SCHOOL-DAY_

DEAN strutts tha fuck into a room full of art masks, n' looks up yo. Dude sees a particular demonic lookin one, n' focuses on dat shit. Our thugged-out asses hear tha screams n' screechin our crazy asses have when DEAN is trippin since he gots back from hell, signalin maybe tha mask made his ass be thinkin of suttin' from his cold-ass time up in hell. We peep one of mah thugs strutt up behind DEAN.

 **SAM (V.O.)  
** Brin back memories, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** What do you mean, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Bein a teenager, all dat angst.

DEAN sighs, a lil relieved dat SAM didn’t peep what tha fuck was goin on wit DEAN starin all up in tha mask.

 **DEAN  
** Oh.

 **SAM  
** What’d you be thinkin I meant, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Nothing.

DEAN looks over at JUSTIN, whoz ass is puttin a funky-ass big-ass bong-shaped piece tha fuck into a kiln. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Now dat brangs back memories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

 **JUSTIN  
** Dude, I need a funky-ass bigger kiln. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

A mackdaddy comes round a cold-ass lil corner (DON HARDING).

 **DON  
** Yo ass gentlemen wanna rap ta me son, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Ah, Mista Muthafuckin yo. Harding.

 **DON  
** Oh, please, Don. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DON reaches fo' SAM’s hand

 **SAM  
** Okay, Don. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DON reaches fo' DEAN’s hand next.

 **DON  
** Even mah hustlas call me Don. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, we git it, Don. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DEAN n' SAM pull up they badges.

 **DEAN  
** I’m agent Getty, dis is Agent Lee. Us playas just had all dem thangs about, uh, Tracy Davis.

 **DON  
** Uh, yeah, Tracy, uh, bright kid, loadz of talent. It’s a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shame she gots suspended. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Uh, you two had a… uh, violent altercation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DON  
** Yeah, da hoe blew up like a muthafucka. If Principal Murrow hadn’t strutted by when da ruffneck did, Tracy would have clawed mah eyes out.

 **SAM  
** Why, biatch?

 **DON  
** I, uh, you know, I was only tryin ta rap wit her bout her work. Well shiiiit, it had gotten inappropriate n' disturbing.

DEAN turns n' indicates tha mad salty masks hangin on tha wall n' tha ceiling.

 **DEAN  
** Mo' disturbing, than, uh, dem muthafuckas, biatch?

 **DON  
** Yo, she would cover page afta page wit these bizarre cryptic symbols, n' then there was tha drawings. Detailed imagez of cappin's, gory, primitive, n' dat biiiiatch would depict her muthafuckin ass up in tha middle of them, participating.

 **SAM  
** Yo, symbols, what tha fuck kind of symbols, biatch? Uh, anythang like this, biatch?

SAM shows DON a lil' small-ass bag wit tha silver Celtic coin up in dat shit.

 **DON  
** Yeah, yeah, I be thinkin dat might done been one of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know where Tracy is now, biatch?

 **DON  
** I would imagine her crib.

 **DEAN  
** Her crib, biatch?

 **DON  
** Yeah, she gots here on some year ago, alone, as I understood it, as a emancipated teen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dogg only knows what tha fuck her muthafathas was like.

_EXT. MOONLIGHT MOTEL-DAY_

DEAN drives up n' parks tha hoopty n' gets up as SAM strutts up ta tha passenger side of tha Impala from another direction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Tracy was nowhere I could find. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Any luck wit her playas, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Nah, luck aint our steez yo. Her playaz don’t know where she is. It’s like tha biiiatch popped a funky-ass broomstick.

DEAN n' SAM make they way toward they motel room, n' a kid dressed as a ASTRONAUT starts ta strutt toward dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM  
** Yo, she could be makin tha third sacrifice any time.

 **DEAN  
** Yes, fuck you Sam.

Da ASTRONAUT strutts up ta dem n' holdz up a funky-ass bucket of candy.

 **ASTRONAUT  
** Trick or treat.

 **DEAN  
** This be a motel.

 **ASTRONAUT  
** Yo, so, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so our phat asses don’t have any candy.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, our crazy asses gotz a ton up in tha uh…

SAM looks back n' points toward tha Impala.

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes did yo, but it’s gone.

SAM looks at DEAN, gettin his crazy-ass meaning. Da ASTRONAUT looks unimpressed n' DEAN looks down at his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, sorry kid, we can’t help ya.

 **ASTRONAUT  
** I want candy.

 **DEAN  
** Well, I be thinkin you’ve had enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.

Da ASTRONAUT glares at DEAN, narrowin his wild lil' fuckin eyes fo' realz. As tha ASTRONAUT struts past DEAN da perved-out muthafucka shoves tha fuck into his ass n' DEAN puts his handz up.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM-DAY_

SAM entas they motel room n' immediately draws his wild lil' freakadelic gun, n' moves forward up in a bitch ass stance, locked n loaded ta attack.

 **SAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?!

DEAN rushes in, n' tries ta stop SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, sam! Sam, wait son! It’s Castiel.

DEAN puts his hand on SAM’s glock n' pushes it down, n' SAM standz there stunned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Da angel.

DEAN spots another git into in tha room, standin by tha window (URIEL).

 **DEAN  
** Him, I don’t know.

SAM looks at CASTIEL up in wonder n' a smile crosses his wild lil' face.

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo muthafucka, Sam.

 **SAM  
** Oh mah Dogg- er- uh- I didn’t mean ta- sorry bout dat bullshit. It’s a honor, straight-up, I-I’ve heard a shitload bout you, biatch.

SAM steps forward n' holdz up his hand ta shake CASTIEL’s. DEAN goes n' closes tha door ta they room, n' CASTIEL looks at SAM’s hand like he isn’t shizzle what tha fuck ta do wit dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM shakes it a lil, n' CASTIEL finally understandz n' puts his bangin right hand up in SAM’s.

 **CASTIEL  
** And I, you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam Winchesta-Da pimp wit tha demon blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Glad ta peep you’ve ceased yo' extracurricular activities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

URIEL is still facin tha window yo, but speaks.

 **URIEL  
** Let’s keep it dat way.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, aiiight, chuckles.

DEAN looks back at CASTIEL.

 **DEAN  
** Who’s yo' playa, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** This tha raisin of Samhain, have you stopped it, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Why, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Dean, have you located tha witch, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Yes, we’ve located tha witch.

 **CASTIEL  
** And is tha witch dead, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shiznit yo, but-

 **DEAN  
** We know whoz ass it is.

CASTIEL strutts over ta tha table by tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **CASTIEL  
** Apparently tha witch knows whoz ass yo ass is like a muthafucka.

CASTIEL picks up a hex bag n' shows it ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **CASTIEL  
** This was inside tha wall of yo' room. If our crazy asses hadn’t found it, surely one or both of y'all would be dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Do you know where tha witch is now, biatch?

DEAN n' SAM exchange a look.

 **DEAN  
** We’re hustlin on dat shit.

 **CASTIEL  
** That’s unfortunate.

 **DEAN  
** What do you care, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Da raisin of Samhain is one of tha 66 seals.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so dis be bout yo' dawg Lucifer n' shit.

 **URIEL  
** Lucifer is no playa of ours.

 **DEAN  
** It’s just a expression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **CASTIEL  
** Lucifer cannot rise. Da breakin of tha seal must be prevented at all costs, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, pimped out, well now dat you’re here, why don’t you tell our asses where tha witch is, we’ll gank her n' dem hoes goes home.

 **CASTIEL  
** Our asses aint omniscient. This witch is straight-up powerful, she’s cloaked even our methods.

 **SAM  
** Okay, well we already know whoz ass she is, so if we work together-

 **URIEL  
** Enough of all dis bullshit.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, whoz ass is you n' why should I care, biatch?

URIEL turns from tha window n' looks at DEAN.

 **CASTIEL  
** This is Uriel, he’s what tha fuck you might call a… specialist.

URIEL strutts toward dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** What kind of specialist, biatch? What is you gonna do, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass-uh, both of y'all-you need ta leave dis hood immediately.

 **DEAN  
** Why, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Because we’re bout ta fuck wit dat shit.

SAM n' DEAN exchange a worried glance.

 


	4. ACT THREE

_INT. MOTEL ROOM-DAY_  ( Same room as tha last scene, all dem secondz later n' shit. )

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so dis is yo' plan, you’re gonna smite tha whole friggin’ town, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** We’re outta time. This witch has ta die, tha seal must be saved. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **SAM  
** There is a thousand playas here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **URIEL  
** One thousand two hundred fourteen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** And you’re willin ta bust a cap up in dem all, biatch?

 **URIEL  
** This isn’t tha last time I’ve… purified a cold-ass lil hood.

 **CASTIEL  
** Look, I KNOW dis is regrettable.

 **DEAN  
** Regrettable, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** We gotta hold tha line. Too nuff seals have fucked up already.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so you screw tha pooch on some seals n' dis hood has ta pay tha price, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** It’s tha livez of one thousand against tha livez of six billion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There’s a funky-ass bigger picture here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **DEAN  
** Right, cause you’re bigger picture kind of muthafuckas.

 **CASTIEL  
** Lucifer cannot rise yo. Dude do n' hell rises wit his muthafuckin ass. Is dat suttin' dat you’re willin ta risk, biatch?

 **SAM  
** We bout ta stop dis witch before her big-ass booty summons mah playas. Yo crazy-ass seal won't be fucked up n' no one has ta take a thugged-out dirt nap.

 **URIEL  
** Us thugs wastin time wit these mud monkeys.

CASTIEL turns away from DEAN ta URIEL.

 **CASTIEL  
** I’m sorry yo, but our crazy asses have our orders.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, you can’t do this, you’re angels, I mean aren’t you supposed ta-You’re supposed ta show mercy.

 **URIEL  
** Yo, says who, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Our thugged-out asses have no chizzle.

 **DEAN  
** Of course you gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle. I mean, come on, what, biatch? You’ve never dissed a cold-ass lil crap order, huh, biatch? What is you both, just a cold-ass lil couple hammers, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Look, even if you can’t KNOW it, have faith. Da plan is just.

 **SAM  
** How tha fuck can you even say that, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Because it be reppin heaven, dat make it just.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, it must be sick, ta be all kindsa shizzle of yourselves.

 **CASTIEL  
** Tell me something, Dean, when yo' daddy gave you a order, didn’t you obey, biatch?

DEAN looks at CASTIEL n' takes a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Well sorry thugs, be lookin like tha plans have chizzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **URIEL  
** Yo ass be thinkin you can stop us, biatch?

DEAN starts over n' standz up in URIEL’s face.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shiznit yo, but if you’re gonna smite dis whole town, then you’re gonna gotta smite our asses wit it, cuz we aint leaving. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See, you went ta tha shiznit of bustin me outta hell. I figure I’m worth suttin' ta tha playa upstairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you wanna waste me, go ahead, peep how tha fuck da ruffneck digs dis shit.

 **URIEL  
** I'ma drag you outta here mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but you’ll gotta bust a cap up in me, then we’re back ta tha same problem. I mean, come on, you gonna wipe up a whole hood fo' one lil witch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soundz ta me like you compensatin fo' something.

DEAN turns back n' looks at CASTIEL.

 **DEAN  
** We can do all dis bullshit. Us thugs will find dat witch n' we will stop tha summoning.

 **URIEL  
** Castiel! I'ma not let these peop-

CASTIEL holdz up his hand at URIEL.

 **CASTIEL  
** Enough!

CASTIEL stares at DEAN fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **CASTIEL  
** I suggest you move doggystyle.

_EXT. MOONLIGHT MOTEL-DAY_

DEAN n' SAM strutt up ta tha Impala, which is now splattered wit eggs. DEAN strutts round ta tha driver’s side as SAM opens tha passenger side door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN looks around, straight up mad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Astronaut son!

INT. IMPALA-DAY

DEAN takes a seat next ta SAM up in tha Impala, n' sees dat SAM looks upset.

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Nothing.

SAM is holdin tha hex bag up in his handz n' takes a funky-ass breath.

 **SAM  
** I thought they’d be different.

 **DEAN  
** Who, tha angels, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Well, I tried ta tell ya.

 **SAM  
** I just… I mean, I thought they’d be righteous.

 **DEAN  
** Well, they is righteous, I mean, that’s kinda tha problem. Of course there’s not a god damn thang mo' fucked up than some a-hole whoz ass be thinkin he’s on a holy mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** But, I mean, dis is God, biatch? And Heaven, biatch? This is what tha fuck I’ve been prayin to, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Look dude, I know you’re tha fuck into tha whole Dogg thang, you know, Jizzy on a tortilla n' shiznit like dis shit. But just cuz there’s a cold-ass lil couple shitty applez don’t mean tha whole barrel’s rotten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I mean, fo' all we know, Dogg hates these jerks. Don’t give up on dis stuff, be all I’m saying. Muthafucka Ruth was a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dick but baseball’s still a funky ass dope game.

SAM looks at his ass yo, but still looks pissed tha fuck off. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time yo. Dude starts ta go all up in tha contentz of tha hex bag up in his hand, n' picks up tha bone.

 **DEAN  
** Well, is you gonna git into a way ta find dis witch, or is you just gonna sit there fingerin yo' bone, biatch?

DEAN starts tha Impala.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know how tha fuck much heat it would take ta char a funky-ass bone like this, Dean, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** No.

 **SAM  
** A lot, I mean, mo' than a gangbangin' fire or some kitchen oven. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, Betty Crocker, what tha fuck do dat mean, biatch?

 **SAM  
** It means we cook up a stop.

INT yo. HIGH SCHOOL-DAY

DEAN strutts over ta a kiln up in DON HARDING’s classroom all up in tha school. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM goes over ta DON’s desk.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, so Tracy used tha kiln ta char tha bone, what’s tha big-ass deal, biatch?

SAM is riflin all up in tha shiznit on DON’s desk as DEAN strutts over n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Dean, dat hex bag turned up in our room, not afta we talked ta Tracy-

 **DEAN  
** Afta we talked ta tha mackdaddy n' shit.

SAM notices a funky-ass bottom drawer of DON’s desk is locked wit a latch.

 **SAM  
** Yo-

DEAN sees it too, n' SAM gets a hammer off tha table behind dem n' kneels down ta hit tha lock until it breaks free yo. Dude opens tha drawer where there be bones up in a funky-ass bowl, one charred, tha others not. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM straightens up.

 **SAM  
** I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah God, dem is all from lil' thugs.

 **DEAN  
** And I’m guessin he’s not savin dem fo' tha dog.

_EXT. PARK-DUSK_

CASTIEL is standin n' URIEL is chillin on a park bench, as some lil pimps skip by up in Halloween costumes.

 **CASTIEL  
** Da decision’s been made.

URIEL laughs.

 **URIEL  
** By a mud monkey.

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass shouldn’t call dem dis shit.

 **URIEL  
** Ah, it’s what tha fuck they are, savages, just plumbin on two legs.

 **CASTIEL  
** You’re close ta blasphemy.

URIEL sighs at his muthafuckin ass.

 **CASTIEL  
** There’s a reason we was busted ta save his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude has potential, he may succeed here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

CASTIEL sits down on tha bench next ta URIEL wit a sigh.

 **CASTIEL  
** And any rate, it’s outta our hands.

 **URIEL  
** It don’t gotta be.

 **CASTIEL  
** And what tha fuck would you suggest, biatch?

 **URIEL  
** That our phat asses drag Dean Winchesta outta here n' then we blow dis insignificant pinprick off tha map.

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass know our legit orders. Is you prepared ta disobey, biatch?

URIEL just looks at his muthafuckin ass.

_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET-NIGHT_

Kidz is struttin down tha street up in Halloween costumes wit they muthafathas. One lil' small-ass crew strutts up ta a doggy den n' looks all up in tha door, which is dark, n' tha mutha dressed as a witch shakes her head all up in tha lil girl’s hand her ass is holding.

 **MOTHER  
** Fuck dat shit, no we won’t, let’s try dis one.

_EXT. BASEMENT-NIGHT_

DON starts a incantation n' we peep a rope. Da camera pans down tha rope n' we peep TRACY tied up wit tha rope n' a rag wrapped round her grill, stiflin her cries as her big-ass booty strugglez ta git free. Da camera swings round n' shows tha dark altar dat DON is standin at yo. Dude takes a knife n' a cold-ass lil chalice from tha table n' strutts over ta TRACY yo. Dude runs tha tip of tha knife down her neck, not drawin blood yo, but starin at her n' shit. DON raises tha knife above his head ta stab her, n' gets blasted from behind three times. DEAN n' SAM have come, n' DEAN goes over ta TRACY ta untie her as SAM checks DON’S body. DEAN cuts TRACY down n' she rips off tha gag.

 **TRACY  
** Nuff props, da thug was gonna bust a cap up in me biaaatch! Ugh, dat sick lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch. I mean, did you peep what tha fuck da thug was bustin, biatch? Did yo dirty ass hear him, biatch? How tha fuck sloppy his crazy-ass muthafuckin incantation was, biatch?

DEAN n' SAM look up.

 **TRACY  
** I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah brutha-

DEAN n' SAM both git all up in draw they glocks again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **TRACY  
** Always was a lil dim.

TRACY throws up her hand n' yells a incantation n' DEAN n' SAM fly back hittin tha ground, n' writhang round up in pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **TRACY  
** Dude was gonna make me tha final sacrifice, his crazy-ass muthafuckin idea yo, but now, dat honor goes ta his muthafuckin ass. Our master’s return, biatch? Da spellwork’s a two playa thang you understand, so fo' six hundred muthafuckin years I had ta deal wit dat pompous lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch. Planning, preparing, unbearable.

TRACY kneels down by DON n' picks up tha knife n' tha chalice.

 **TRACY  
** Da whole time I wanted ta rip his wild lil' grill off.

TRACY starts diggin tha knife tha fuck into DONz cap wound, n' holdz tha chalice up ta catch tha blood flow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks back over ta DEAN n' SAM, whoz ass is still writhang up in pain on tha floor clutchin they stomachs.

 **TRACY  
** And you git his ass wit a gun, uh, ludd dis shit.

TRACY gets up n' goes back ta tha altar on tha table.

 **TRACY  
** Yo ass know, back up in tha day, dis was tha one dizzle you kept yo' lil pimps inside. Well tonight you’ll all peep what tha fuck Halloween straight-up is.

TRACY starts another incantation n' SAM, still clutchin his stomach up in pain, make his way ta Don’s body, puttin his hand up in blood n' smearin it on his wild lil' face. DEAN sees his ass n' whispers.

 **DEAN  
** What is you bustin, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Just follow mah lead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

SAM spreadz blood on DEAN’s grill as well, n' moves back away from DON fo' realz. As TRACY finishes tha incantation tha ground cracks n' black smoke pours outta it, n' tha fuck into tha body of DON (who is now SAMHAIN). DEAN n' SAM was not able ta stop his bangin rising, n' another seal has been broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As he opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes, we peep dat DON’s eyes have turned white wit tha pupil stayin black. DEAN n' SAM lie still on tha floor, they torture finished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAMHAIN rises off tha floor, n' looks at TRACY’s back dat is turned ta his muthafuckin ass yo. His vision is blurry yo. Dude strutts over ta her n' dat dunkadelic hoe turns round smilin at his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMHAIN kisses her n' shit.

 **TRACY  
** I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah love.

 **SAMHAIN  
** You’ve aged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **TRACY  
** This face… I can’t fool you, biatch.

 **SAMHAIN  
** Yo crazy-ass beauty is beyond time.

SAMHAIN leans up in n' they foreheadz rest together before da perved-out muthafucka suddenly snaps her neck sideways n' she falls ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **SAMHAIN  
** Whore.

SAMHAIN turns round as da perved-out muthafucka sniffs tha air n' sees DEAN n' SAM lyin on tha floor yo. Dude strutts over n' looks at dem fo' a second, n' we peep wit his blurry vision dem lyin there wit they eyes closed, n' afta a second SAMHAIN strutts past dem n' leaves, shuttin tha door behind his muthafuckin ass. DEAN opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' leans over ta SAM, whisperin so dat SAMHAIN don’t hear dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell was that, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Halloween lore. Muthafuckas used ta wear masks ta hide from him, so I gave it a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shot.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass gave it a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shot?!

DEAN looks at his ass not believin dat they took a cold-ass lil chizzle like dat on a scam SAM had from readin lore.


	5. ACT FOUR

_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET-NIGHT_

SAMHAIN is struttin down tha street, covered up in blood yo, but not bein noticed cuz it is Halloween, n' mah playas is up in costume.

_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET-NIGHT_

DEAN n' SAM strutt across tha street toward tha Impala, wipin tha blood off they faces.

 **DEAN  
** Where tha hell is we gonna find dis mook, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Where would you git all up in raise other dark forcez of tha night, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Da cemetery.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

They git up in tha Impala n' drive off.

_INT. IMPALA-NIGHT_

DEAN is rollin while SAM sits up in tha passenger seat.

 **SAM  
** Yo, so, dis demon’s pretty bangin naaahhmean, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **SAM  
** Might take mo' than tha usual weapons.

SAM glances at DEAN outta tha corner of his wild lil' fuckin eye, n' DEAN gets what tha fuck he is suggesting.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, sam, no, you’re not rockin yo' psycho whatever n' shit.

 **SAM  
** Don’t even be thinkin bout dat shit. Ruby’s knife is enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.

 **SAM  
** Why, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Well cuz tha angels holla'd so fo' one-

 **SAM  
** I thought you holla'd they was a funky-ass bunch of fanatics.

 **DEAN  
** Well they happen ta be right bout dis one.

 **SAM  
** I don’t know, Dean, it don’t seem like they’re right bout much.

 **DEAN  
** Well then forget tha angels, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass holla'd yo ass, these powers, it’s like playin wit fire.

DEAN picks up tha knife n' holdz up tha handle ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Please.

SAM takes tha knife from DEAN but don’t say anything.

_INT. MASOLEUM-NIGHT_

There is rap noize comin from a room up in tha mausoleum, n' teenagers is struttin round up in costume. JUSTIN is standin there lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **JUSTIN  
** Dude, I’m trippin balls muthafucka!

Someone starts ta strutt down tha stairs n' JUSTIN notices.

 **JUSTIN  
** Yo, shh, be on tha fuckin' down-low, it’s tha cops.

SAMHAIN strutts down tha stairs n' toward tha room they is partyin in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. JUSTIN sees his muthafuckin ass.

 **JUSTIN  
** Mista Muthafuckin yo. Harding, biatch? I mean, Don, biatch?

SAMHAIN closes tha gate ta tha room, n' locks it fo' realz. As da thug strutts away he runs his hand across tha gate. JUSTIN tries tha gate yo, but it don’t budge.

 **JUSTIN  
** Don, you, uh, you locked our asses in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

JUSTIN tries tha door again, n' it stays locked yo, but tha doors ta tha crypts up in tha room start ta shake. Da teenagers back away tha fuck into corners yo, but JUSTIN looks ta one side, n' begins ta back ta tha other side fo' realz. A door comes open, n' handz reach up n' grab his thugged-out ankles. JUSTIN screams as a zombie drags his ass off his wild lil' feet n' tha fuck into tha crypt, a second lata blood splattas outta tha crypt, squirtin up n' coverin tha ground up in front of tha crypt Da teens start ta freak up n' try ta git tha gate open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN come down tha stairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at DEAN n' tha playas locked up in tha room.

 **SAM  
** Help dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** Dude, you’re not goin off ridin' solo.

 **SAM  
** Do dat shiznit son!

SAM runs afta SAMHAIN n' DEAN looks afta his ass fo' a second yo, but looks back all up in tha teens motionin fo' dem ta move.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, stand back! Stand back!

Da teens move away from tha gate n' DEAN shots tha lock, n' kicks tha door open ta let dem all out.

 **DEAN  
** Go on, come on, git out, move biaaatch!

Afta tha teens all rush past him, DEAN watches as a thugged-out door of a grave up in tha mausoleum room crashes ta tha ground n' breaks fo' realz. A zombie crawls outta it, n' standz up as another grave door crashes ta tha ground n' tha zombie up in tha next grave over starts ta crawl up as well. DEAN pulls up a weapon as tha second zombie gets up n' holdz up what tha fuck be lookin like a silver stake.

 **DEAN  
** Brin it on, stinky.

_INT. MASOLEUM-NIGHT_

SAM is struttin all up in tha mausoleum lookin fo' SAMHAIN yo. Dude turns a cold-ass lil corner n' sees SAMHAIN up in a room facin tha far wall. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM tries ta strutt up ta his ass silently, narrowin his wild lil' fuckin eyes all up in tha demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMHAIN turns round suddenly n' throws up his thugged-out arm, n' a funky-ass bright white light comes outta dat shit. Well shiiiit, it dims, however, n' SAM keeps struttin toward SAMHAIN.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, dat demon ray glock stuff, biatch? It don’t work on mah dirty ass.

SAMHAIN runs at SAM, n' SAM throws a uppercut punch n' they fight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMHAIN finally pushes SAM against a wall by his neck, gettin tha upper hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

_INT. CRYPT ROOM-NIGHT_

There be a zombie wit a silver stake comin outta its chest lyin on tha floor n' DEAN stabs another zombie ta tha ground wit another silver stake right next ta tha straight-up original gangsta one fo' realz. A pair of Nikes strutts up behind DEAN wit a pair of hoes frail feet up in dem wild-ass muthafuckas. DEAN hears it n' grabs a stake before tha pimpin' muthafucka turns round ta stab her yo, but she flickers n' disappears, n' is behind his ass as da perved-out muthafucka standz up fully yo. Dude turns round n' she motions both her handz at his ass n' he flies across tha room, slidin down tha wall.

 **DEAN  
** Zombie pimp orgy huh, biatch? Well, that’s it, I’m torchin everybody.

_INT. MASOLEUM ROOM-NIGHT_

SAM manages ta git tha knife out, n' tries ta stab SAMHAIN, n' when it starts ta cut tha fuck into his skin, it sizzlez n' SAMHAIN pushes it outta SAM’s hand, n' whips SAM round n' throws his ass tha fuck into tha wall across tha room. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM gets up n' SAMHAIN looks at him, locked n loaded ta attack, goes ta run at SAM yo, but SAM puts up his hand, n' uses his thugged-out lil' psycho juice ta stop his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMHAIN strugglez against SAM yo, but SAM manages ta keep his ass from advancin too much. DEAN comes hustlin round tha corner n' sees SAM rockin his thugged-out lil' powers. DEANz grill falls. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sees DEAN over tha shoulder of SAMHAIN yo, but continues. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM has ta bust a shitload mo' concentration than we’ve peeped before, n' his nozzle starts ta bleed as blood poundz up in his head n' he grabs his head wit tha hand not holdin SAMHAIN at bay. Finally, SAM exorcizes SAMHAIN as his nozzle continues ta bleed n' tha blood poundin up in his head starts ta slow down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Once SAMHAIN is outta tha body, DON’s eyes turn back ta color n' SAM can barely raise his wild lil' fuckin eyes ta hook up DEAN’s stare. This is tha last time dat SAM was aware of DEAN bein there ta peep his ass use his thugged-out lil' powers. Last time, DEAN was watchin yo, but SAM didn’t know da thug was there until afta n' shit. DEAN looks at his ass sadly, n' wit a lil bit of fear up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

 


	6. ACT FIVE

_INT. MOONLIGHT MOTEL-DAY_

**SUBTITLE  
** One Dizzle Afta Halloween

SAM is packin threadz tha fuck into his fuckin lil' duffel bag.

 **URIEL  
** Tomorrow.

SAM jumps all up in tha sound of one of mah thugs up in tha room n' turns ta URIEL.

 **URIEL  
** November 2nd, it’s a anniversary fo' you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** What is you bustin here, biatch?

 **URIEL  
** It’s tha dizzle Azazel capped yo' mother, n' 22 muthafuckin years lata yo' hoe like a muthafucka. Well shiiiit, it must be hard as fuck ta bear, yet you so brazenly use tha juice he gave you, biatch yo. His profane blood pumpin all up in yo' veins.

 **SAM  
** Excuse me son, biatch?

 **URIEL  
** Yo ass was holla'd at not ta use yo' abilities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

 **SAM  
** And what tha fuck was I supposed ta do, biatch? That demon would have capped me, n' mah brutha n' everyone.

 **URIEL  
** Yo ass was holla'd at not to.

 **SAM  
** If Samhain had gotten loose up in dis hood-

 **URIEL  
** You’ve been warned, twice now, nahmeean, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, biatch? My fuckin brutha was right bout you, yo ass is dicks.

 **URIEL  
** Da only reason you’re still kickin it, Sam Winchester, is cuz you’ve been useful naaahhmean, biatch? But tha moment dat ceases ta be true, tha second you become mo' shiznit than you’re worth, one word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One, n' I'ma turn you ta dust. ( URIEL backs off yo, but keeps rappin'. As fo' yo' brother, tell his ass dat maybe da perved-out muthafucka should climb off dat high cow of his fo' realz. Ask Dean what tha fuck he rethugz from hell.

Our thugged-out asses hear another flutta of wings as tha camera is focused on SAM yo. His eyes go wide, n' tha camera pans out. URIEL is gone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns round lookin fo' his muthafuckin ass.

_EXT. PARK-DAY_

DEAN is chillin on a park bench watchin lil playas play. Da camera pans round ta show CASTIEL on tha park bench next ta his muthafuckin ass. DEAN is lookin tha other way yo, but senses tha angel’s arrival. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

 **DEAN  
** Let me guess you’re here fo' tha "I holla'd at you so".

 **CASTIEL  
** No.

 **DEAN  
** Well, good, cause I’m straight-up not dat interested. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

 **CASTIEL  
** I aint here ta judge you, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Then why is you here, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Our ordaz-

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, you know, I’ve had bout enough of these ordaz of yours-

 **CASTIEL  
** Our ordaz was not ta stop tha summonin of Samhain, they was ta do whatever you holla'd at our asses ta do.

 **DEAN  
** Yo crazy-ass ordaz was ta follow mah orders, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** Dat shiznit was a test, ta peep how tha fuck you would big-ass up under... battlefield conditions, you might say.

 **DEAN  
** Dat shiznit was a witch, not tha Tet Offensive. Yo, so I, uh, failed yo' test, huh, biatch? I git dat shit. But you know what, biatch? If you would have waved dat magic time-travelin wand of yours n' our crazy asses had ta do all dat shiznit over again, I’d make tha same call. 'Cause see, I don’t know what’s gonna happen when these seals is broken, hell I don’t even know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. But what tha fuck I do know is, dat this, here, biatch? These kids, tha swings, tha trees, all of it is still here cuz of mah brutha n' mah dirty ass.

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass misunderstand me, Dean, I’m not like you think. I was prayin dat you would chizzle ta save tha town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass were, biatch?

 **CASTIEL  
** These people, they’re all mah father’s creations. They’re workz of art, n' yet, even though you stopped Samhain, tha seal was fucked up n' we is one step closer ta hell on earth, fo' all creation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now that’s not a expression, Dean, itz literal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Yo ass of all playas should appreciate what tha fuck dat means. ( DEAN looks at his ass a lil pained, n' sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ) Can I rap suttin' if you promise not ta tell another soul, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Okay.

 **CASTIEL  
** I’m not a… hammer as you say. I have thangs, I have doubts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I don’t know what tha fuck is right n' what tha fuck is wack no mo', whether you passed or failed here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. But up in tha comin months you gonna git mo' decisions ta make. I don’t envy tha weight that’s on yo' shoulders, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I truly don’t.

They share a look, n' DEAN looks up ta tha lil playas again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When he looks back, CASTIEL is gone.


End file.
